Thanks, Bill. I think I had heard something about Perry needing pictures because he still has trouble reading.
Maybe my 4 yr old can work on that with him.
I think you're right. But I also wish I had taken more time to spend out there with him. I spent time sanding and doing resin and fiberglass. But much of the bolting together was a JD and Jamie task and I stayed out of the way.
I know he'd want me to make it work and work well. But I also know how much he wanted it to do so with him behind the wheel. I'm really struggling with making it mine. Though I honestly doubt he would've wanted it fitted for anyone other than me if it couldn't be him. I'd give it up in a heartbeat if it meant I could give it back to him.
I see each tool, each bolt, each detail. All things he and Earl did together. I move gingerly to avoid places on the car known to "bite", but then I realize that the place i just avoided actually bit him once which is how I know to avoid it. And I catch an image in my head of the bite mark on his leg or arm or hands or head. I see him, clearly. Then I see a bite mark on my arm or leg. Or I can't get a bolt loose and I get frustrated. I hear myself yell Dammit. The one word he used when the kids' carseats frustrated him and he'd get mad. And the one word my daughter repeated that mortified him beyond belief. Of all the people and words to repeat, lil Jamie chose that one. (Note: her father and I have major potty mouths - a trait about me that he loathed - and the f word commonly flies from my lips.) But no, she didn't repeat me. She repeated him.
I'm sure you guys don't want to hear about all my tears and meltdowns. But here lately I'm having trouble escaping those.