Heard any good jokes? (Human-proof)
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Author:  horchoha [ October 28, 2020, 2:01 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Heard any good jokes? (Human-proof)

The Pretzel Hold
WARNING: This is a Ukrainian joke, I am Ukrainian, I am not offended because I truly believe Ukrainian's tell the best jokes. If you believe you will be offended, do not read this joke.

There was this Ukrainian wrestler, he was the best in the country, he never lost a wrestling match. His promoters boasted this across the world, 'the greatest wrestler in the world!'. One day the promoters get a call from Japan, they say they have the greatest wrestler in the world, maybe set up a wrestling match to see who is actually the greatest in the world.
And so it happened, there was a huge crowd, the spotlights were shining center ring. The commentator calls out 'Ladies and Gentlemen! In this corner stands Mr Ukrainian' (the crowd roars), he walks up to Mr Ukrainian and asks 'Mr Ukrainian, you are the best wrestler in the country, how do you think this match will go?'. Mr Ukrainian says 'I'm the best in the country, nobody has never beat me, I'm the best!'. The crowd goes wild.
Then the commentator says 'And in this corner in Mr Japanese, who also is the best wrestler in his country'. He walks up to Mr Japanese and asks 'How do you think this match will go?'. Mr Japanese says ' I'm the best, I have this hold called the pretzel hold, once I get someone in the pretzel hold they never get out'.
Mr Ukrainian hears this and thinks hmm I've never heard of this pretzel hold and I'm the best, nothing to worry about.
So Mr Ukrainian and Mr Japanese go to their corners. The bell rings, they come out, circling each other, they lock arms, suddenly Mr Japanese has Mr Ukrainian in the pretzel hold. The commentator is ecstatic, he yells out 'Mr Japanese has Mr Ukrainian in the pretzel hold! No one has ever gotten out on the pretzel hold!'. The crowd is hushed.
No sooner the commentator says this Mr Japanese goes flying over the ropes, into the crowd, and is down and out. The crowd is uncontrollable, the match was over.
As Mr Ukrainian stands up and is staggering around, the commentator comes up to him and slaps him on the back, he says 'Mr Ukrainian! How did you do it? No ones ever gotten out of the pretzel hold!'.
Mr Ukrainian says, 'there I was, I thought I was a goner, but I looked up, and there they were, the biggest pair of family jewels you've ever seen, so I bit them. You can't believe the power you get when you bite your own family jewels!!!!'. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Author:  benny_toe [ October 28, 2020, 4:00 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Heard any good jokes? (Human-proof)

Pretty funny Perry. Didn't see it coming.

Author:  rx7locost [ October 28, 2020, 8:40 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Heard any good jokes? (Human-proof)

:rofl: :hail:

Author:  Lonnie-S [ November 1, 2020, 11:29 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Heard any good jokes? (Human-proof)

Genuine Ukrainian Humor

In the early 1980's we took a Greek cruise into the Black Sea. We arrived in Odessa, Ukraine (still part of the Soviet Union then) about 11 am. As the ship pulled into the dock, all of a sudden everything got busy. People, trucks, forklifts started appearing out of nowhere and flying all over the place, but not to service our ship. They were just going no place in a hurry. It was like someone yelled out "Action" on a movie set. It was clearly random, and a staged situation.

Later in the day, touring the city, I brought it up to our Intourist guide (a Ukrainian school teacher who taught English), and asked her what it was all about, as clearly it was a setup. She said wryly with a smile, "Well they (the Soviet bureaucracy) pretend to pay us, so we pretend to work."

That broke the ice, and she turned out to be a blast and a very funny lady. We had a great time.

Author:  rx7locost [ November 4, 2020, 8:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Heard any good jokes? (Human-proof)

We've all had those website challenge questions.

Author:  rx7locost [ November 7, 2020, 9:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Heard any good jokes? (Human-proof)

As seen on a road side sign:


:mrgreen: :mrgreen:

Author:  rx7locost [ December 5, 2020, 10:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Heard any good jokes? (Human-proof)

Another one stolen from another site:

Author:  ngpmike [ January 10, 2021, 9:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Heard any good jokes? (Human-proof)



Author:  rx7locost [ February 3, 2021, 8:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Heard any good jokes? (Human-proof)

A couple stolen from another site, I'm sure they were stolen from somewhere else too :mrgreen:

Author:  Kartracer47 [ February 3, 2021, 9:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Heard any good jokes? (Human-proof)

Hi Chuck, In my repair shop, I used to see the aluminum sealing rings so deformed around the drain plug bolt that it was almost impossible to get a wrench on it. Customers said it was last serviced at a "quick lube" center. I had previously told customers to get their oil change only services at places like that to save money. Also found "universal" oil filters that they used that weighed almost nothing as compared to factory (minimal filter media!!) Quickly changed my mind about that recommendation!!!

Author:  rx7locost [ February 28, 2021, 9:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Heard any good jokes? (Human-proof)

another truism:

Author:  rx7locost [ March 3, 2021, 2:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Heard any good jokes? (Human-proof)

Sorry for only a link. But worth it, let me know what you think.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/bmwmoa/ ... 804039379/

Author:  RichardSIA [ March 4, 2021, 12:01 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Heard any good jokes? (Human-proof)

Ah, well no wonder Dad said no, he wanted a crotch rocket instead of a proper motorcycle. :wink:

Author:  horchoha [ March 5, 2021, 4:21 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Heard any good jokes? (Human-proof)

I will never degrade another culture, but I do find this very amusing. I love Chinese food, but translated instructions on stuff we buy, well you be the judge..........
It's a good thing our Locost how to instructions are much better to understand :rofl:

Amazingly we had success

Author:  Lonnie-S [ March 5, 2021, 12:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Heard any good jokes? (Human-proof)

Nice flight. Did you get it back?

Any UFO sightings reported in your area because of it?


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